19 friends are having babies. All post pictures on Facebook of their growing bellies. All reaching our baby's 'week' and surpassing it. All happily complaining about feeling sick or feeling ''huge". And don't get me started about what happens to these women after their babies arrive. Mom posts are the worst! But these were all things I was excited to do.
But something weird happened. I now have zero desire to do any of that cutesy pregnant stuff for the future. My perspective has completely changed after the miscarriage....things I'll carry with me for the next pregnancy.
I no longer will concern myself with cute pregnancy shoots or what the chicest maternity outfit would look best. I won't spend all my time reading mommy war debates. I don't need to overthink how we will creatively announce our next pregnancy (because most likely we won't announce it). I don't want to fall into the trap so many moms fall into by spending crazy amounts of time on FB posting every moment of their pregnant and mommy lives.
If we are blessed to find ourselves pregnant again, I hope to spend my time praying for my future babe, not posting a weekly belly shot. I hope I will be praying he or she grows up with integrity, humility, a heart to love and serve others. I want to spend my time praying for Trevor and me to be the parents our child deserves. I want all these things to consume my time. And when he or she arrives, I really want to spend my time engaged, living life with him or her...instead of posting every minute of it. I'm sure there will be days of a pregnant or mom post in the future. I just hope it's not all consuming.